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	<title>Chenergy Consulting: Psychology Meets Technology</title>
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		<title>The Psychology of Jiro Dreams of Sushi</title>
		<link>http://chenergyconsulting.com/2012/04/22/the-psychology-of-jiro-dreams-of-sushi/</link>
		<comments>http://chenergyconsulting.com/2012/04/22/the-psychology-of-jiro-dreams-of-sushi/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 22 Apr 2012 13:41:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jennie Chen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attitude is everything]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comittment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jiro dreams of sushi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sushi]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chenergyconsulting.com/?p=913</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sushi, Sushi, Sushi, one of the hottest foods (no pun intended) over the last few years in Austin, is still somewhat of an enigma to us.  I&#8217;ve eaten my fair share of sushi and other Japanese food, but still I &#8230; <a href="http://chenergyconsulting.com/2012/04/22/the-psychology-of-jiro-dreams-of-sushi/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chenergyconsulting.com&amp;blog=12517859&amp;post=913&amp;subd=chenergyconsulting&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Sushi, Sushi, Sushi, one of the hottest foods (no pun intended) over the last few years in Austin, is still somewhat of an enigma to us.  I&#8217;ve eaten my fair share of sushi and other Japanese food, but still I am a beginner in the sushi realm.  I saw a preview of this movie when I went to the Alamo Drafthouse Slaughter Lane training day.  I can&#8217;t write a review of <a href="http://www.magpictures.com/jirodreamsofsushi/">Jiro&#8217;s</a> restaurant, but the psychological aspects of the documentary struck me as remarkable.  There really won&#8217;t be any spoilers, as there really isn&#8217;t a traditional plot, per se.</p>
<p>You might have gotten from the trailer that <a href="http://www.magpictures.com/jirodreamsofsushi/">Jiro Ono&#8217;s</a> training is intense and brutal.  Apprentices train for years just to learn how to make rice.  Apprentices must first learn how to wring hot towels in their hands before they may touch the food.  <a href="http://www.magpictures.com/jirodreamsofsushi/">Jiro&#8217;s</a> attitude towards his work shows a completely different approach than what most are used to seeing.  <a href="http://www.magpictures.com/jirodreamsofsushi/">Jiro</a> never claims to be the best.  <a href="http://www.magpictures.com/jirodreamsofsushi/">Jiro</a> was never cocky.  <a href="http://www.magpictures.com/jirodreamsofsushi/">Jiro</a> and many of the other players in the movie approached their work as a craft.  From the fish vendors to the apprentice chefs, many of them stated that they wanted to keep improving and learn better techniques.</p>
<span style="text-align:center; display: block;"><a href="http://chenergyconsulting.com/2012/04/22/the-psychology-of-jiro-dreams-of-sushi/"><img src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/hbV6knbeUFE/2.jpg" alt="" /></a></span>
<p>Here&#8217;s a few quotes from the film:</p>
<p><strong>“<em>You must dedicate your life to mastering this skill. This is the key to success.”</em></strong></p>
<p><strong><em>&#8220;Even at my age in work, I still haven&#8217;t reached perfection.&#8221;</em></strong></p>
<p><strong><em>&#8220;I&#8217;ll continue to climb to try to reach the top, but no one knows where the top is!&#8221;</em></strong></p>
<p>This attitude is vastly different from many that I&#8217;ve come across.  Often times, people say things like &#8220;I&#8217;ve done it before. Don&#8217;t tell me what to do.&#8221;  Or &#8220;I&#8217;ve been doing this for X number of years. I&#8217;m an expert.&#8221;  I&#8217;ve said it several times before.  I hate the e-word.  I don&#8217;t think there&#8217;s anything as an expert.  In my experience, people who call themselves experts are the ones who have stopped learning and stopped perfecting their art.  Experts are the ones who refuse to be flexible to change and feedback falls on deaf ears.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m a strong believer in being passionate about your work.  People with hardy personalities persistent and are committed to their work will fair better.  They are resilient to stress, and in the long-run, that could be better long-term health (empirical research pending).  One of my favorite hardy personalities is <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo">Randy Pausch</a>.</p>
<p>There may be others who disagree.  They say that perpetually striving to achieve goals may be stressful when the goals are realized.  They claim that the constant work has a negative effect, but I would disagree.  People who have a sense of passion about their work live longer.  People who do nothing but &#8220;relax,&#8221; are the ones that are missing out.  There&#8217;s already a plethora of research demonstrating that <a href="http://seniorjournal.com/NEWS/Retirement/5-10-21Retire55.htm">people who retire young also die young.</a>  There&#8217;s also a plethora of psychological work that shows that people are <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html"> happy regardless of circumstances</a>.</p>
<p>I recommend, instead, to <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_buettner_how_to_live_to_be_100.html">stay alive by staying passionate about what you do</a>.  Never stop learning, and never stop doing.  Without this type of attitude,<a href="http://www.magpictures.com/jirodreamsofsushi/"> Jiro Ono</a> might not have every achieve all that he did.  Doctor&#8217;s orders!</p>
<p>I found a quote in a Piano Guys video that was in the same vein.  <strong>&#8220;Don&#8217;t only practice your art. Force your way into its secrets. For it and knowledge can raise men to the divine.&#8221; &#8211; Ludwig Van Beethoven. </strong></p>
<span style="text-align:center; display: block;"><a href="http://chenergyconsulting.com/2012/04/22/the-psychology-of-jiro-dreams-of-sushi/"><img src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/mJ_fkw5j-t0/2.jpg" alt="" /></a></span>
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		<title>Beyond Measure, Beyond Words: A peek behind the scenes of @TEDxAustin2012</title>
		<link>http://chenergyconsulting.com/2012/02/12/beyond-measure-beyond-words-a-peek-behind-the-scenes-of-tedxaustin2012/</link>
		<comments>http://chenergyconsulting.com/2012/02/12/beyond-measure-beyond-words-a-peek-behind-the-scenes-of-tedxaustin2012/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 12 Feb 2012 18:26:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jennie Chen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[carillon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[connecting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fino Austin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Food community]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Johnson's Backyard]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lenoir]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Penny De Los Santos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Swift's Attic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TedXAustin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uchiko Austin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vital Farms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[whole foods]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wink]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I just finished an amazing 6 month long experience.  I after it was all said and done, I spent about 175 hours over the 6 months working on the experience called TEDxAustin.  I was the xLunch producer, and I produced &#8230; <a href="http://chenergyconsulting.com/2012/02/12/beyond-measure-beyond-words-a-peek-behind-the-scenes-of-tedxaustin2012/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chenergyconsulting.com&amp;blog=12517859&amp;post=898&amp;subd=chenergyconsulting&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I just finished an amazing 6 month long experience.  I after it was all said and done, I spent about 175 hours over the 6 months working on the experience called <a href="http://tedxaustin.com/">TEDxAustin</a>.  I was the xLunch producer, and I produced every aspect of the food experience. I did not get to partake in the full experience, but working on the experience was just as amazing.  I can say that I&#8217;m <a href="http://misohungrynow.blogspot.com/2011/02/im-richest-person-in-austin-tedxaustin.html"> even more rich</a>.</p>
<p><img src="http://romanreign.com/tedxau1.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="427" border="0" /></p>
<p>Photo by <a href="https://twitter.com/windaddict">John M. P. Knox @windaddict</a></p>
<p>I did hear bits and pieces of the talks.  I heard a quote from <a href="http://twitter.com/jcourt">@JCourt</a> about preemptive love, &#8220;<strong> </strong> <strong>Violence unmakes the world. <em>Preemptive love</em> remakes the world.</strong>&#8221; I was overwhelmed with the feeling of preemptive love.  My friends who participated in the lunch concept preemptively showed me love.  They dedicated their time and their craft to something I was doing without question. Thank you, friends. Thank you for showing me that preemptive love.</p>
<p>I did sit down for <a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/pennydelosantos">Penny&#8217;</a>s talk. I met <a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/pennydelosantos">Penny</a> about 4 years ago at a food blogger&#8217;s pot luck at her house.  I absolutely love her, and the idea of that we should live I&#8217;m the moment.  Our lives are made up of all these small moments.  <strong>See them. Live in them. Cherish them.</strong>  I got to meet <a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/pennydelosantos">Penny&#8217;s</a> father, and I stole a hug.</p>
<p><a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/pennydelosantos">Penny&#8217;s</a> talk was thoughtfully placed right before lunch.  This year&#8217;s lunch showcased some of the top chefs in Austin with deep roots in the food community.  There were several goals for the lunch <em>1. Create an interactive food experience to drive engagements 2. Serve fantastically creative dishes 3. Highlight the leaders in our food community and 4. showcase locally sourced foods.</em></p>
<p><img src="http://romanreign.com/tedxau2.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="512" border="0" /></p>
<p>Paper dress. photo by <a href="https://twitter.com/windaddict">John M. P. Knox @windaddict</a></p>
<p>I was told that it would be a difficult task, but nonetheless, I took it on.  I won&#8217;t go into the logistics of pulling off this feat. From table settings to sourcing the food locally, this was nothing short of a miracle. I tweeted earlier that week that I was in the car with 100 chickens.  I didn&#8217;t tweet that they were all being delivered to the restaurants and were already dead.</p>
<p><img src="http://romanreign.com/tedxaustincakeballs.jpg" alt="" width="320" height="320" border="0" /></p>
<p><a href="http://tedxaustin.com/">TEDxAustin</a> cake balls by <a href="http://austincakeball.com/">Austin Cake Ball</a>.</p>
<p>I had several people say that <em><strong>I did the impossible.  And they are right.  I did what was impossible to do on my own. <span style="color:#800000;font-size:large;">With the preemptive love, it was very possible</span><span style="font-size:large;">.</span></strong></em></p>
<p>I must tip my hat to Rebecca Scofield at <a href="http://twitter.com/wholefoodstax">Whole Foods</a> for putting in so much time into this endeavor.  She is nothing short of amazing by bringing in <a href="http://www.jbgorganic.com/">Johnson&#8217;s Backyard</a> and <a href="http://vitalfarms.com/">Vital Farms</a>.  My  chefs wowed me with their creativity and presented a fantastic menu.  <a href="http://twitter.com/doughpuncher">David Norman</a> of <a href="http://twitter.com/easytigeratx">Easy Tiger</a> started the day with showing people how to knead dough during breakfast, which tied into breaking bread over lunch with friends.  The <a href="http://www.naturalepicurean.com/">Natural Epicurean </a> brought an A team staff to support our event.  The staff was sharper than their knives.</p>
<p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">A big thank you to the restaurants and chefs: </span></p>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.bc-tavern.com/">BC Tavern / Wink</a>: Matt Taylor  <span style="font-size:small;"><a href="http://twitter.com/bctavern">@BCTavern</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/winkrestaurant">@WinkRestaurant</a></span></li>
<li><a href="http://www.thecarillonrestaurant.com/">Carillon</a> at the AT&amp;T Executive Center: <a href="http://twitter.com/ChefJoshWatkins">Josh Watkins</a>, Chris Andrews, and Brad Turner  <a href="http://twitter.com/carillonaustin"><span style="font-size:small;">@CarillonAustin</span> </a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.astiaustin.com/fino/">Fino/ Asti</a>: <a href="http://twitter.com/Jasondonoho">Jason Donoho</a>, <span style="color:#222222;font-family:Times New Roman;"> Scott Kaplan, and Carlos Sachital</span> <span style="font-size:small;"><a href="http://twitter.com/fino_austin">@Fino_Austin</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/ASTI_Trattoria">@ASTI_Trattoria</a></span></li>
<li><a href="http://lenoirrestaurant.com/">Lenoir Austin</a>: Todd Duplechan, Jessica Maher <span style="font-size:small;"> <a href="http://twitter.com/lenoir_austin">@Lenoir_Austin</a></span></li>
<li><a href="http://swiftsattic.com/">Swift&#8217;s Attic</a>: <a href="http://twitter.com/swiftsblade">Mat Clouser</a>, Zack Northcutt, Callie Speer <span style="font-size:small;"><a href="http://twitter.com/swiftsattic"> @SwiftsAttic</a> </span></li>
<li><a href="http://uchiaustin.com/uchiko">Uchi/U</a><a href="http://uchiaustin.com/uchiko">chiko</a>: <a href="http://twitter.com/philipspeer">Philly Speer</a>, Tim Dornon, and Dustin Harvey <span style="font-size:small;">@<a href="http://twitter.com/uchikoaustin">UchikoAustin</a>  @<a href="http://twitter.com/uchiaustin">UchiAustin </a></span></li>
</ul>
<p>And our food partners:</p>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.austincakeball.com/">Austin Cake Ball</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/austincakeball"><span style="font-size:small;">@AustinCakeBall</span></a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.kohanacoffee.com/">Kohana Coffee</a>:  <a href="http://twitter.com/kohanacoffee"><span style="font-size:small;">@KohanaCoffee</span></a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.easytigeraustin.com/file/Home.html">Easy Tiger</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/doughpuncher">David Norman</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/easytigeratx"><span style="font-size:small;">@EasyTigerATX</span></a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.naturalepicurean.com/">Natural Epicurean </a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.sugarmamasbakeshop.com/">Sugar</a><a href="http://www.sugarmamasbakeshop.com/"> Mama&#8217;s Bakeshop</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/sugarmamas"><span style="font-size:small;">@SugarMamas</span></a></li>
<li><a href="http://wholefoods.com/">Whole Foods</a>  <a href="http://twitter.com/wholefoodsatx"><span style="font-size:small;">@WholeFoodsATX</span></a></li>
<li><a href="http://zhitea.com/http:/zhitea.com/"> Zhi Tea</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/zhitea"><span style="font-size:small;">@ZhiTea</span></a></li>
</ul>
<p><img src="http://romanreign.com/tedxau3.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="512" border="0" /></p>
<p>Photo by <a href="https://twitter.com/windaddict">John M. P. Knox @windaddict</a>.  This was a view from inside the black box.  I loved the design that Jeff Sharpe and Chris Czichos made.  I want them to do that to my house.</p>
<p>In case you were wondering about the menus:</p>
<p><strong> <a href="http://www.bc-tavern.com/">BC Tavern/Wink</a></strong>  -  Broccoli, Bleu cheese mac / Braised chicken (cachatorrie style)/ roasted carrots and spinach</p>
<p><strong> <a href="http://www.thecarillonrestaurant.com/">Carillon</a>   </strong>- Chicken Roulades, Bacon, Espellete, sherry emulsion / Texmati rice,dried apricots, almonds, celery, black pepper syrup / Carrots, caraway, molasses, pork jus gastrique</p>
<p><strong> <a href="http://www.astiaustin.com/fino/">Fino/Asti</a></strong>   &#8211; Smoked Vital Farms Chicken &amp; Spinach Morcilla Blanca / Carrot Purée / Broccoli Slaw &amp; Egg Yolk Bottarga</p>
<p><strong> <a href="http://lenoirrestaurant.com/">Lenoir</a>  </strong>-  The Chicken or the Egg &#8211; Chicken pot-au-feu with egg ravoili<br />
<strong><a href="http://swiftsattic.com/">Swift&#8217;s Attic</a> </strong> -  Roasted Chicken Bahn Mi / Broccoli Kimchee Spinach / Quick pickle salad<br />
<a href="http://uchiaustin.com/uchiko">U<strong>chi/Uchiko</strong></a>  &#8211; Vital farms chicken, sweet short grain rice, candied pork belly, crispy garlic / Pickled carrots, pickled broccoli /s pinach oshitaki</p>
<p>It must also be mentioned that just a few weeks ago, Chef Scott Kaplan of <a href="http://www.astiaustin.com/fino/">Fino</a> was attacked and seriously injured.  While I am sad to see something like that happen, I was thrilled to see that he decided to come out to play at <a href="http://tedxaustin.com/">TEDxAustin</a>. You can view <a href="http://www.giveforward.com/caringforkaplan">Chef Scott&#8217;s fundraiser here</a>.<br />
<img src="http://romanreign.com/IMG_1551.JPG" alt="" width="800" height="600" border="0" /></p>
<p>The speakers and sponsors dinner.<br />
Working as the xLunch producer, I got to meet some other incredible people, in very unexpected places.  The staff at the Austin Music Hall,  Pascal&#8217;s catering, and Premiere Party were fantastic to work with.  They went over and beyond with helping with the set up and loading.  We also had group of volunteers from Accenture who were amazing. I couldn&#8217;t believe how focused they were. I&#8217;d love to have them at any event.</p>
<p>The <a href="http://tedxaustin.com/">TEDxAustin 2012</a> copywriting, design, and production logistics were handled by an extraordinary team.  A big thanks goes to Kristin Bender, Leah Kaminsky, and Lisa Cogliati.  Also, <a href="http://blog.beplayfuldesign.com/">Jeff Sharpe and Chris Czichos</a> did all of the design, layout, and building to create the stunning environment at <a href="http://tedxaustin.com/">TEDxAustin 2012</a>.  It was drop dead gorgeous.</p>
<p><img src="http://romanreign.com/IMG_1549.JPG" alt="" width="800" height="600" border="0" /></p>
<p>Close up of the panels.</p>
<p>And lastly, I had the experience of working closely with <a href="http://twitter.com/cleverthought">Shawna Butler</a>.  I must have called or texted her at least once a day during the last few weeks of production.  This woman is insightful, efficient, focused, and I&#8217;m guessing that the final singing experience was her doing.  <a href="http://www.craighellajohnson.com/">Craig Hella Johnson</a> lead a choir in being.  We announced our being by singing.  We sang to announce our being.  And our being was Beyond Measure.</p>
<p>r being was Beyond Measure.</p>
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		<title>The Evolutionary Psychology of Trolls</title>
		<link>http://chenergyconsulting.com/2011/11/28/the-evolutionary-psychology-of-trolls/</link>
		<comments>http://chenergyconsulting.com/2011/11/28/the-evolutionary-psychology-of-trolls/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Nov 2011 18:31:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jennie Chen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bully]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolutionary psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trolls]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chenergyconsulting.com/?p=895</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ever wonder why some people are so mean online?  One might argue that people are inherently evil and that being anonymous online without having to physically face others gives them the ability to engage in rude behavior.  That&#8217;s a classic &#8230; <a href="http://chenergyconsulting.com/2011/11/28/the-evolutionary-psychology-of-trolls/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chenergyconsulting.com&amp;blog=12517859&amp;post=895&amp;subd=chenergyconsulting&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ever wonder why some people are so mean online?  One might argue that people are inherently evil and that being anonymous online without having to physically face others gives them the ability to engage in rude behavior.  That&#8217;s a classic social psychological phenomenon.  When people are anonymous, they engage in behavior that they normally wouldn&#8217;t.  Common examples I use in class are the Ku Klux Klan.  This group masked their identities and committed horrible crimes.  Do you think that those Ku Klux Klan members would have committed those crimes if their faces were exposed?  I&#8217;m going to guess not.  This begs the question of transparency now.  Why are people who do reveal their identities still big jerks on the internet?   Why do some people make &#8220;hate&#8221; for the sake of hating something a sport?</p>
<p><img src="http://romanreign.com/troll1.JPG" alt="" width="284" height="312" border="0" /></p>
<p>My hunch is that this is because we aren&#8217;t evolved to life in large groups.  Our brains were evolved to live peacefully (relatively) in fairly small groups.  Most anthropologists and psychologists I know use ~200 as rough estimate by looking at historical data and examining tribal groups today.  We&#8217;re not evolved to live in groups of 1,000,000,000,000 or whatever size city you happen to reside.  Our brains just don&#8217;t work that way.  It is difficult to try to get with that many people.  Rarely will I say this, but thank goodness for a larger infrastruture (government) that keeps us relatively well-behaved and functional.</p>
<p>Pre-1995, social groups were still relatively small.  Enter the internet into that situation, and now we&#8217;re talking about a different story.  Online groups started on listservs, irc chat, and even *gasp* Yahoo groups.  Now that we have Facebook, Twitter, and a plethora of other social networking sites, our social networks can be gigantic.  I&#8217;m making no distinction between online and offline social networks as both are equally real and valid to me.</p>
<p><img src="http://romanreign.com/troll2.JPG" alt="" width="640" height="347" border="0" /></p>
<p>We now have a situation.  We have brains that are evolved to peacefully live with about 200 people, yet we are in contact with hundred and thousands of new people every day.  It doesn&#8217;t take an anthropologist to see why our brains might have a meltdown and why some people misbehave.  This perspective certainly doesn&#8217;t jive well with mainstream views in social media.  Social media takes on the perspective that we should have bigger and stronger social networks.  HUGE social networks of people are what is important to personal brands and product brands.  However, this perspective is not how our brains are designed to function.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m not debating on how we should change social media practices or how we could change brand management.  I don&#8217;t believe that many people in social media or in brand management on behalf a commercial brand cares about the human psyche and mental health.  For most brands in social media, they are only interested in their bottom line.  On the other hand, this post offers a different perspective on online trolling and impression management.</p>
<p>1. The ability to post your opinion in the form of an update, tweet, blog post, or video is a great tool that I love.  I can put my opinion out there for everyone to see.  <strong>However, the ability to post anything and everything can lead to an over inflated sense of self-importance.</strong>  Some people think that just because they posted something on the Internet, that makes them right (correct) or worse, important.  Your opinion is like your rectum.  Everyone has one.  Even @<a href="http://twitter.com/mousethedog">MouseTheDog</a> has one, that doesn&#8217;t mean is opinion is correct or important.</p>
<p>2. Sometimes those people post mean things just to start a riot (online or offline).  I call them trolls.  <strong>These are the people to inject themselves into online exchanges (in which they are not invited) simply for the sake of causing a disturbance.  These trolls are the cancer of online communities. </strong> I had a student who told me he frequently did this just to see how upset people get.  There are many of these types of people who say terrible rude things to others via Twitter, just for the sake of attention on themselves.  I used to have a friend who would tell me outrageous drama just to make me or others feel bad.  He reveled in starting drama, causing fights, and most of all, being in the center of it.  Some people troll offline too!  There are theories on what factors or mental disorders (narcissistic personality disorder) can lead to these behaviors, but I&#8217;m not going to talk about them in this post.  I&#8217;m not a clinical psychologist.</p>
<p>3. While it is difficult to ignore these trolls, you have to realize that in an ancestral environment,<strong> you might have never had contact with that jerk</strong>.  If that jerk was in your group of 200, he or she would not be welcome for very long.  The best thing to do from an evolutionary perspective is to block that jerk.</p>
<p>4. <strong>Conflict is inevitable in large groups</strong>.  While it is sometimes possible to get along with people in smaller groups, conflict is inevitable.  I&#8217;m in some very supportive and wonderful communities where dissatisfaction and conflict is very, very, very far and few between.  However, once you start adding more people in those groups, conflicts will arise, and they may be ugly.  This can be a great source of distress to some people as balance in attitude and sentiment is really important to some people.  You can read up more on <strong> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balance_theory">balance theory </a></strong>or <strong><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance">cognitive dissonance</a></strong>.  I admit that I used to find it distressing when people were fighting.  Now that I&#8217;ve served on at least 20 boards over 30 some odd organizations, I&#8217;m pretty okay with conflict in groups.  It will happen, and when it does, I&#8217;m not the one who is distressed.  I&#8217;ve been told that I have high tolerance for conflict and frustration.  Others say it seems like I don&#8217;t care.  It is simply that I view it has part of psychology.  Conflict in larger groups will happen, and that doesn&#8217;t mean that people are right or wrong for it.  It just happens.  Business should just move on.</p>
<p>5. <strong>Do you have to be friendly to everyone?  Absolutely not!</strong>  Apple is not necessarily a friendly brand.  RIP Steve Jobs.  They market to their followers, and they alienate all others.  <span style="text-decoration:underline;"> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Different-Escaping-Competitive-Youngme-Moon/dp/0307460851"> Dr. Youngme Moon has a section on them in her book, Different.</a></span>  I highly, highly recommend the book.  *I got a copy free from the Business of Software Conference.*  Mainstream marketers and even customers balk at Apple&#8217;s attitudes and methods.  However, it makes complete sense to me from an evolutionary perspective.  Apple doesn&#8217;t have to get along with everyone.  Apple doesn&#8217;t have to like everyone.  However, Apple does a really darn good job of eliciting loyalty from their fans.  Apple gets along with their smaller (you might be thinking smaller than what!) network, and that has paid off for them.  They&#8217;ve decided that their fans are their *ancestral* social networks.  And they ignore anyone who isn&#8217;t in that network, much like we ought to ignore people who aren&#8217;t in our networks.</p>
<p><strong>The take away message from this post is: We don&#8217;t all have to get along.  We&#8217;re not developed to get along with everyone, and that&#8217;s okay.  If some random troll (online or offline) tries to start drama with you, it is okay to ignore him/her.  It isn&#8217;t your problem that the troll has issues.  </strong></p>
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